You’ve heard Taylor Swift's lyrics “ Band-aids don't fix bullet holes" right? In that lyric could be one of the biggest leadership lessons.

These days everyone is looking for the short cuts, the quick, the fast, the instant, the quick fix. Unfortunately, there's no elevator to success. That's why it's a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell. As a leader, it's important to get good at managing “instant” expectations.

Recently we hit a significant rank in our first 4 weeks of being part of a new MLM company. It could have seemed like an overnight success, however, these were not instant results - this was almost 20 years of experience packed into 4 weeks of very intense work. Now some reps will tell our story like this:

"Melanie and Efrosyni came into our company and made 5 figures in their first month! You could make great money here"...

A better and more ethical way to tell it is - Melanie and Efrosyni were able to have quick success here because they've been in this industry for decades, they know this profession like the back of their hands but the cool thing is once upon a time they were rookies just like you. If they did this in ten years and you just do a percentage of that in the next decade imagine how your life could transform.

One of the biggest reasons for attrition in network marketing is over-promising and under-delivering. If we share our results without the full story and work behind it, we are misleading the field and giving false expectations.

Do some people come in and get instant results? Of course but they usually have credibility, are already successful in another industry, or they work intensely hard and fast. They are not most people, they are the few.

It’s better to under-promise and over-deliver. Many more people will get started in network marketing if a believable story is told. Most people just want an extra $500 a month and they can only invest part-time in their business, so why not get them focused on a long term 2-3 year part-time plan? Rather than telling the one-hit-wonder tales that make your company appear as a get rich quick scheme.

Instant is great but it's usually not sustainable. We do sometimes see a trend of those who come in and get huge results within weeks but struggle to maintain the results as they haven't built the intestinal fortitude that it takes to lead.

Let's go back to the pop industry for a moment you may have heard of a young man - Justin Bieber - a huge overnight success he shoots to instant fame. I challenge you to watch the Justin Bieber story documentary and you will see the untold story. This young man worked on music since he was a toddler, he shot to fame with 10 years experience.

Leadership skills take time, sustainable volume takes time, building a legacy takes time. So be patient with your results, impatient with your action. Teach your team a mindset of longevity and sustainability and take the stairs to build your dreams. One day it's going snowball and seems like you can just get instant results and overnight success.

Here's to a decade that leads to instant success.

P.S: This is just one of the pitfalls networkers fall into sometimes knowing what NOT TO DO is just as beneficial as knowing what to do to check out some of the other pitfalls click here!

So Efrosyni and I have had a great new product launch weekend, however, as with anything, there have been some haters. And here's one of my favourite sentences in network marketing for those on the sidelines, if you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked, you don't get an opinion and if someone hasn't called you crazy in a week you are not working hard enough.

So let's talk about a very rude message I received after asking a prospect to jump on the phone to see my opportunity this week. 

When I was at the fresher ranks of my first company, I believed everyone that was a top income earner had it easy, everyone said yes to them because of what they had already achieved, their rank, status, lifestyle... Surely they had the respect of all their prospects?

If like me you also think this, let me share what a lovely fairy tale belief this is. The truth is you still get some very rude rejections, we just don't let it emotionally affect us anymore and have the opportunity to laugh and share it as training material.

Friday morning whilst still in bed I reached for my phone right away as I had left quite a few messages late the night before and was excited to see all the responses for coming in.

One reply was from a former colleague I had worked with on the same product line in retail.

This is her response word for word after I asked if we could have a call the next day.

" No Melanie. It's hilarious that the last time you bothered to get in touch it was over that nonsense company. I researched it, an appalling mess, now there is another opportunity that requires a verbal explanation which I'm assuming is an MLM which I hate to my core as they are a) lying bullshit;  b) exploitative;  c)turn you into a merchant of both and you claim 'I have a side hustle' which is other wise normally known as a job by normal sensible people like me. 

I don't need any of that junk in my life. Now usually I would say to you, 'you do you' but this is the SECOND time you have invited me. Einstein encapsulated the theory of relativity into a sentence FYI. Please delete me and never contact me again and honest actual work is available if you look hard enough. 

Also if you have actually helped people become millionaires why aren't you?! I'm offended you would approach me. Of course, if you are telling the truth, I'll be the first to congratulate you and you can say I told you so."

I couldn't stop laughing firstly... I had so many conversations with this girl since I last invited her, condolences on passed loved ones, happy birthday messages, how are you check-ins year after year...

How did she research ? On quitterreviews.com by the sounds of it.

Does she want to use Einstein to call me stupid? LOL - Clearly this is her little smart moment, referring to Einstein. 

She doesn't agree with extra income sources? When we met we were both working in an extra job on top of our careers in the entertainment space.

How terrible to be 'a merchant' - someone who sells something to make a living. Is that not considered honest work? What is it she thinks we do?

The actual joke is we made our first million from MLM in 2014 and have helped many others do it through honest hard work.

The sad thing is some of your newbies are going to get a silly rejection message like this from someone they think they respect and it will take them out of the business and kill their future. Luckily I've been around long enough to find this funny, a great story on trips with our team, and for at training events - however, let's look at how I handled it.

I did respond with a polite calm voice message letting her know that we are already millionaires, this is our legitimate full time profession we have spent a decade building and as well as earning a nice income helping many others earn an extra part-time income to subside bills but the offer to work with me has been revoked. She is not welcome to be part of our team as there is no need in this day and age to be that rude.

And I left it at that.

If we didn't post our highlight reel then this year could have been the ultimate showdown of non-stop drama featuring month after month of low lights. 

However, due to several decades of combined personal development, we've had a relatively good time based on our 'can do' attitude and capacity to handle situations that have been thoroughly out of our control.

We've both had our personal challenges.

Let's hear part of Efrosyni's year:

''In March I got a phone call that caused me to fly to Cyprus the next day due to an emergency. Whilst in Cyprus, lockdown happened which was tough at first. Then I decided that I could focus on what was lost because of a lockdown or the blessings that came out of it. If lockdown hadn’t happened I would not have had the opportunity to spend more quality time with my grandma than I have had since I was 10 years old.

If it wasn’t for lockdown and being in Cyprus for seven weeks, not being able to travel, we would not have been able to decide to launch Freedom Creators and launch a podcast which hit the top 10 across 9 different countries and is now listened to by thousands of people in over 72 countries.

 If it wasn’t for this pandemic we wouldn’t have decided to relocate from London to Cyprus and go from living in a beautiful apartment but moving into a gorgeous villa next to the sea and enjoying the longest summer we’ve had since Australia.

 If it wasn’t for lockdown we wouldn’t have decided to start shifting our business from belly to belly to online, or have been able to expand into numerous other countries at a faster rate."

 This year there has been a silver lining in every cloud, true sometimes we've had to look a little harder but many things have ended up coming out as blessings.

Our appreciation for things that we take for granted like freedom of movement, connection with loved ones, hugs, has grown tenfold.

One of the biggest keys of this year's pandemic is that it’s really important to appreciate the little things because when they have taken away those are the things that mean the most. 

We know that with everything going on and the constant uncertainty we've been thrown into it can be so tough to look for a silver lining or to be optimistic. 

Here are two things that help us to keep smiling during these times:

Gratitude: Every morning, I write in a gratitude journal ten things I'm grateful for. So, for example, this morning, I was grateful for the coffee being made, a lie-in as it's Sunday, blue skies, music that gives me a choice of mood, organisation skills, my perfect scrambled eggs, our part-time dog visiting last night, choices over my daily education, friends that I can reach by phone and that I know how to cook.

Giving: When you give, you take the focus off your challenges and redirect it on how you can make someone else's life better and your pain and problems diminish for a while. It may be selfish but giving isn't a one-way street it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I love to give what I can, sure this year we've all tightened the purse strings, but there are many other ways to give. Often I'll make some gluten-free granola for my neighbour who has allergies, I'll give someone a ride if they need it, lend a listening ear and recommend audio that could help with a situation and check in on friends and family all that counts as giving too and it can make you see the world in a better light.

My life has had so many sliding door moments ... Back in 2012, I was invited to an opportunity meeting for the first time.  I had just finished an audition at the time, I was tired and looking forward to going home.

My first response to the invite was "I'm not wearing any makeup.." but the person that invited me ensured me that it did not matter what I looked like. So off I went to see what he had to share with me. 

What if I went home and didn't seize the moment - would he have invited me again?

I didn’t know what to expect but I had been told it was a job interview and I came in with the mindset of it’s always good to have extra money! 

However, we all know that an opportunity is not a job interview. I was very confused about that by the end. Did they want to pay me to be in the video as the presenter? Did they want me to join this opportunity? Were they going to pay me for being a part of this? 

I didn’t know what was happening because the invitation was not clear.

So I left without much clarity. What if the person that had invited me would’ve taken a second longer to learn how to make a proper invitation ? Maybe I could’ve got started that night. 

As I got on the tube my mind started ticking. What if this lifestyle really existed? What if this was my one shot? 

When I got home I put the flimsy piece of paper with links on my desk. Then went out for a run. On that run I made a decision," I thought I’m really going to own something of my own."

That moment whilst still running, I called the lady that had presented to me and asked to attend the next group presentation. What if I hadn't gone for a run would I still have made that decision?!

Most people don’t even follow up - let alone the likelihood of a prospect following themselves up. What if I had never called? Would they have called me ?

So 3 days later I found myself getting started! Sometimes I have the trippy what-if moments, sliding door moments.

What if I didn’t get started? What if all these tiny little moments didn't line up? Life would be pretty different... I could still be working on a minimum wage salary 7 days a week, never have travelled the world or lived in Australia, hundreds of lives would be different in fact.

I wonder how many prospects really slip through representative's fingers? The fact that I got started was a mere fluke; there were so many moments that could have been handled professionally ensuring I didn't slip through the net.

What if right now you have an opportunity to change someone's life? What if right now you have everything it takes to make it work?

But what if you never get the training you need to unleash your potential?

ADDRESS IT! You heard me. Call them out - a simple: 

"Hey, are you ghosting me?", can salvage a relationship.

It could be a huge misunderstanding or it might mean you will have to put your ego aside and listen to why they have decided to ignore you but if you can both handle the conversation you will grow from it and the relationship will probably come out stronger.

A CLOSURE LETTER - I often share on handling your emotions like the renowned USA PRESIDENT Abraham Lincoln. He wrote letters whenever someone would upset or anger him to say everything he needed to say. And do you know he didn't send a single letter? If you need to send the letter, by all means, do it. Do what you need to do to get closure on a relationship, but if it is going to be sent, of course, a mature approach is always best. Thank them for the time in your life and wish them the best for the future.

GRATITUDE. Take a moment to think of all the good times you had, all the things you learnt because of them, the joy and be thankful that you were able to touch each other's life if even only for a short period of time.

It is a fact that retail stores that play happy, upbeat music have increased sales figures compared to those that play no music at all.

Music has power and so do the lyrics. 

This week my Spotify logged me out and much to my frustration it took me almost 4 days to log back in. This created a lack of easy access to music. On Wednesday, whilst staying at my parents that hardly ever have music on, I found myself in a mood of doom and gloom, it was only on Thursday when I turned on the car engine and the radio automatically came on I realised the silence was affecting my state.

 

Now Efrosyni who is a master in changing other people's state always lifts my mood in a challenging situation by playing a ridiculously silly song - baby shark seems to be a favourite at the moment. It's impossible to be in a bad mood while bopping along to baby shark. I challenge you to try it and if you are still in a bad mood after that - maybe you are choosing to be in it and stubbornly resisting happiness? Let the music do its work and change your state.

I can't believe I hadn't realised that the silence was affecting my state on Wednesday, especially because I'm the one who has put together the ultimate pre-pitch playlist - 'The champion mindset playlist'. (Don't worry we'll include a link to it at the end.) 

A playlist that not only gets our team in a positive champion mindset but gets our prospects in a happy upbeat mood. Each song has powerful empowering lyrics and something upbeat about it.

By having a playlist to dictate the energy and program the moods of potential buyers we are increasing our chances of closing sales after a meeting. That's why we play music before both a live and virtual event and immediately after a close instead of leaving space for awkward silences, it brings life and energy.

During lockdown in the U.K - I was having yet another sleepless night and goofing around - when I came across the Pokemon Theme tune. I rang my friend Vlad, - 'HAVE YOU HEARD THESE LYRICS ?!?!' He chuckled as I added it enthusiastically to the champion mindset playlist.

The lyrics get me into the superhero zone of a network marketer. 

Let us assume the pokemon are the prospects, and the song describes our network marketing journey as we take a look at these lyrics:

The other day I was listening to a podcast by Gary V, someone I genuinely admire for his no non-sense approach to entrepreneurialism. During his podcast he was sharing a story about how one day he had received an email from a couple of young enthusiastic guys, that told him they loved his podcast and they had a business idea they wanted to share with him about a bed and breakfast type business model.

 

Gary didn’t pay attention and said barely even looked at the email. Those young guys went on to create their "little business idea" that turned into a multi-billion dollar company and I believe you may have heard of this company called Airbnb. One of the last valuations was in 2018 and it was $38 Billion!

Listening to this, really took me back to when I was in university and I had a somewhat similar experience. I was doing my Bachelor Degree in Marketing & Tourism management and one of the units was called "International Business'. For this unit, we were given an assignment and it was to do a business plan on exporting a product or service into another country. This was in 1998 and I had just come back from a short European trip where I had also visited Sweden. One thing that I noticed in that very cold winter of -15C, is Ugg Boots which were an Australian-New Zealand product was just not a thing in this country!  

 

Considering how cold this country gets I decided this was to be my product!! I started researching, found manufacturers and was able to secure a great wholesale price for export. I was looking at various different ranges, from indoor ones, outdoor etc and had a nice little margin of over 65% profit. One of my best friends also happened to be Swedish which helped as he was able to find me contacts in Sweden that could've bought them and distribute them nationwide and I finalised my assignment and handed it in.  

 

My professor gave me 98% for this assignment and in fact wrote (Great idea - you would be crazy not to do this)! I was excited, and decided that this would be a business I would launch with my best friend soon after I graduated. 

I graduated a few months later but of course, sometimes life gets in the way and time just passes you by, and a week, turned into months, months turned into years, and not long after I had also relocated from Australia to Cyprus, got a job and before you know it.. A few years had passed.  

 

In early to mid 2000s I paid a short visit to Sweden and I was shocked.. Ugg boots were EVERYWHERE!!! I mean everywhere, everyone had a pair, young, old, they became such a fashion item, not just in Sweden, but In UK, and many European countries including Cyprus!! 

There are many lessons I learned from this.. For one thing.. ideas don’t mean anything unless you EXECUTE them. Just because I had the idea first, it didn’t matter.. 

 

Second, what if we set some goals with my best friend Jonas, and timelines and started working towards that. Or, also became each others accountability partners.. 

 

The biggest lesson I learned is its always better to have tried and failed rather than not try and always wonder or worse yet regret .. This has been my philosophy in life now, hence why I have now owned several businesses during my life, from being a part owner in an online shopping website, to hair restoration, several sales and marketing agencies, property sourcing and management companies and more recently a sales training company.  

 

Some of them have been amazing lessons and many have become very successful and Is still feel this is just the beginning of many adventures to come. 

 

Proud perfectionist? Do you believe in just getting things done or getting them perfect?   

 

Let’s focus on the last definition. Truth be told there’s always going to be someone that comes along and is faster, better, bigger and stronger than you and the last record is always going to be broken so a better thing to strive for is excellence.

"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." —Vince Lombardi

 

Most of us that get obsessed with being perfect never get it done because it’s our excuse. I just need to practise a few times until it’s perfect and then I can do a presentation, when I find the perfect closing question then I’ll close the sale. When I find the perfect company I’ll stop jumping from one deal to the next. Excuses disguised as perfection - if you wait for the perfect moment and for the perfect day it will never get done.

 

Don’t get me wrong practise and working on your skills are important but you do remember this is an earn while you learn business - jump in and trust your mentors to guide you and help you to get to excellent along the way. You can’t be good before you start you have to start to become good and then excellent.

I’m not saying be sloppy - don’t. Work hard on your skills and mindset but get to work while working on these. I’m saying don’t be afraid to fail forward, to have learning experiences from your mistakes and don’t worry about getting it wrong, you will.

I remember once doing my set up for a meeting and my prospect said directly to me, “So this is very rehearsed isn’t it?” and to be honest I was offended - but the truth hurts. It was true I had practised my script to a T ! In fact it was too perfect the perfection was letting me down as it didn’t seem natural to my prospects; it felt stiff and over used.

So it was a lesson that I may as well be natural, go with the flow and go off script once in a while and be okay with treating each situation and prospect differently rather than being so focused on sticking to the script.

Also do you know what else my prospects' number one objection was? That they couldn’t do it the way I did it ! It took me years to realise that I’d done my post education in the theatre industry where every night it must be the same, every dance move needed to be perfect but this was a different ball game - not everyone has the confidence to pitch it the way you do so be vulnerable and screw it up in front of them once in a while.

See when you get the job done with no flaws it’s not duplicatable and our entire network marketing business is based on duplication so don’t worry so much about getting it perfect or getting it right but worry more about getting it done.

Being perfect is unattainable and unrelatable. If someone feels like you’ve done such a great job that they will never be able to live up to you or ever be better they will come in with a defeatist attitude.

I can remember once being on a gym bike watching what I thought was a curious and interesting film; two little girls on tricycles in a corridor ... so off I went to get headphones and suddenly the film came to life and became one of the scariest movies which many of you may know as “The Shining” with Jack Nicholson. Yet without headphones or music as scary as that classic is, it loses its power. 

Think about it, when your home alone in the dead off night and your ears hear something your brain goes wild - the silence and darkness is foreboding. Fear of the unknown takes over but the second you turn on a light it all goes away.

The other night I was about to go to bed when a creature; some type of insect with a clackety tail appeared above my bed. Now I was home alone so although my natural instinct would be to scream until someone came to save me, I had to think about it logically.

First things first; could this creature kill, me? Unlikely. I didn’t know what it was but I couldn’t remember the last time I’d read the headlines of tourist killed by unknown insect in dead of night. So I gave the creature a name “Shakles” after his clackety tail and turned off the light, and there you go he disappeared and I slept like a baby.

Now we all have fears but some of us let our fears control the direction of our life. Here are some of the most common fears that hold people back in their businesses: Fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being laughed at etc. Now most of these are hypothetical fears - e.g:- What if some one judges me ? And we will reply "what if they don't ?" what if someone says no ? What if they say yes... There are always two ways to look at your fears why not choose to look at it in the way that's going to help you live your best life? 

Ask yourself when faced with a fear that holds you back in the business game, what's the worse that could happen ? What is the actual risk here... Is the scenario of it going right bigger that the consequences of it going wrong? So my friends, this is how you let logic talk you out of your fears, and you step into your power.

In today’s world - it is a constant battle of our attention. There are so many distractions from emails, to social media, to trying to make the work-life-balance work, that most people feel overwhelmed. So when are you actually present in the current moment ?

One of the ways we always start our zoom calls and live events is asking people to give themselves the gift of being present. We love to have people switch off their phone and give us their full attention but do you know that it’s not only us that want your attention, it’s your partner, it’s your kids, it’s your friends, it’s anyone you are spending your time with. 

They want you ! Not your money, not your work ethic but your undivided attention and it’s not fair that they have to fight for it and compete against so many other things.

Recently at a training we were asked a question from a new entrepreneur - he said he wanted to be all in with his business but his wife was feeling neglected; how could he make her feel differently ?

The key is this: schedule undivided attention with your partner give her/him the gift of your presence, no phones just quality time - plan something away from technology and be there in the moment. 

Just because you switch your phone off for an hour doesn’t mean you are not all in with your business- you’ll be 100% focused during your business time. You’ll be surprised at how much better he/she will feel if you commit to a no phone time and plan something romantic.

When you are working on your business, switch off all the other distractions and give it your undivided attention. Network marketers have a bad reputation for always being glued to their phones and the truth is you don’t need to always be on the screen, you can still be available but let your team know what hours you will be working and be 100% available to them at that point. 

You’ll be more productive away from the family and more efficient. A lot of people throw the word multitasking around a lot but it doesn’t really work; when most people try to do it in the end they end up just doing a bunch of tasks very average. It’s better to do less things well than a bunch of fairly average tasks. 

If you schedule times to work on certain tests and during this time, have 100% focus you'll find you will be able to be much more effective and achieve much more I a shorter period of time. 

The now is the only real time that counts. It has been said that many people live in the past, which is pointless since that cannot be changed, and many also live in the future and that is never promised. So the best thing to do is create memories by being in the moment. 

Now in saying this we definitely don’t mean live only for the moment and don’t prepare for tomorrow; on the contrary if you are fully present during your meetings and give your work quality time it will be so much more productive. 

If each person you meet with feels like they are the only thing that matters at that moment in time your business that you are building for tomorrow will thrive so being present today helps us build a stronger tomorrow.

Don’t focus so hard on future that you miss the joy and beauty in today. The best way to take care of future is to take care of present moment.

My father always worked really hard for us as kids but all he ever spoke about was money and business. It had is attention all the time and I know he was doing it for us but the memories I value the most is the time he spent with us away from his business. I wanted his presence, not his presents.

A friend of mine who had recently moved to London said to me, “Melanie it’s so hard to meet someone these days as everyone is just glued to their phone no one notices me.“ 

That’s a heart breaking statement and I made a commitment to spend less unproductive time on technology and start living in the present as noticing what’s going on in real life.

As Buddha says, “Be where you are. Otherwise you will miss your life. “

A great way to start being present is to have a look at your surroundings and become mindful of them and enjoy some appreciation and gratitude for what you have surrounding you. 

It’s pretty much impossible to think two things at the same time so have thoughts about what’s happening right now.

Why not start a daily gratitude diary to bring you into the present? I have a little stone with the word gratitude that I keep next to my bed and it does wonders to bring me into the present and value what I have right now.

 Sometimes a particular series can be really addictive, in my case “ How to Get Away with Murder” was it. I could not get enough of the fisty Annalisa, the plot twists, it was so juicy... However, I disciplined myself on working until a certain hour and then treating myself to some switch off time with my phone on silent. 

Measured rest time where others can’t contact you is so important for peace of mind. If watching something is your way to escape, especially in these times when we don't have too many options, then so be it. 

We all learn in different ways, some of us are visual, some of us auditory, some learn by doing ( kinesthetic) and some by writing and reading. 

I’m an auditory and reading learner so watching stretches me to expand my learning differently. In fact, when I was a child I would rather read an exciting adventure book than watch T.V. I didn't really enjoy it as much. It's important to keep pushing our boundaries of how we learn and keep challenging the mind.

 There were some excellent educational documentaries this year, from David Attenborough’s 'A Life on This Planet" to 'The Social Dilemma' making us question our human habits. There were savvy business films such as 'Selfmade' for inspiration. Strategy Series like 'The English Game' and the 'Queen's Gambit' that encouraged mind analysis. All super different and bring a different lesson. Whenever I watch something I ask myself what I can learn, whether it be fantasy or reality. 

One of the most powerful things I’ve realised this year is what level I watch something at, and with which eyes. As I've transformed through my network marketing, leadership, business and personal growth journey I find the level I watch things at has been elevated.

Be empathetic and actively listen to those who need you. 

Make sure when you are listening you are listening to understand someones pain not just to give a solution and get rid of them. People do not care how much you know until them know how much you care. 

When your team feels heard and that you understand their emotions, they will respect you more as a leader. Have you ever given a pep talk to someone else when you’ve felt broken hearted ? 

You are going to face this a lot when going through a storm, but true leaders don’t disappear when things get tough.You need to be available for your team. It’s time for you to show up and shine.

Offer solutions that your team can participate in, do not focus on the challenge focus on how you can fix it. If you are already fixing things let your team know what you are doing to fix the challenges. Look for solutions that involve your team in a positive way. Nothing is more empowering than a team knowing they contributed to saving the day.

Take responsibility for the challenges; this is a hard one as no one person can say they are responsible for the storm but what we can do is take responsibility to fix the challenge rather than playing the blame game or waiting for some one else to do it for you. Stick to the truth of the situation rather than participating in rumours, communication of the situation clearly will make your team respect you more and encourage them to participate in their own rescue.

Finally do not forget the long term vision you’ve laid out for your team before the storm arose. Get your team focused on the short term plan to fix it, let them see the end of the storm as quickly as possible whilst keeping the long term future in mind. As Rocky says: it’s not how hard you get hit; it’s how many times you get back up and just keep moving forward”, step by step no matter how slow you go, just don’t stop.

Are you leaving money on the table ?

Lately I've been approached by quite a few individuals on social media about taking a look at their company and it usually goes something like this.

“Hi Melanie! Just checked and loved your content here on Instagram. I see we both work in home business. How's everything going?”

Then we will usually chat for a few moments, hopefully more if they are good at prospecting and really paying attention then they will hit with something like this:

“Just curious, would you be open to checking out some more information on a game changing way to make some extra income? No worries if not just thought I would ask.”

Now here's where I feel money is left on the table...

I reply, - “I'm already committed to my company but what's the name of your company I could be open to your product”.

And they say - “ No Melanie. I would rather discuss more about my company on a quick zoom meeting, would you be open to that?”

None of us like to waste our time and I know with hot markets we are been trained over and over again not to say the name of our company and to get somebody in front of the presentation as we can control the information they are exposed to. And I agree, if you already have the trust and you know the person well then jump on a zoom call and go through the information; no need to disclose the name of the company prior.

However if it's cold market... by not disclosing the name of your company or what your product is you're just looking sketchy. You haven't earned their trust yet - be upfront.

What I would've done at this point is maybe dropped a little voice message doing a quick 30 second pitch on my product and asking if they like the sound of it.

And then we could really open it up but sometimes strangers will find jumping on a zoom with someone they don't know weird. I love voice notes and I certainly like to put my cards on the table with a stranger, it opens up the lines of trust right away.

Our conversation stopped after my question of: "can you tell me the name of the company or product line?” By me being ghosted.

Worst case scenario this guy could have dropped me a website link to his products, but his unwillingness to be flexible, cost him a possible customer.

It's really important to be in tune with your prospects when you are working, pay attention, read the messages properly or listen carefully. I was not rejecting him I was curious. I actually thought his initial question was quite good...But because he couldn't get me on a zoom, because he didn't have enough credibility yet he stopped pushing for exposure or sale. He wasn't flexible. Therefore the money was left on the table.

Hot market and cold market need different treatment. In person networking and online networking also need different treatment.

Network marketing works best in a hot market but at some point if you want to grow a huge organisation you will start approaching others that you haven't met yet.

Make sure when you do it you prospect properly; you listen and pay attention to their needs and you make it easy for them to buy. Don’t lose the sale from lack of flexibility.

Here's a quick link to an audio on our podcasts on how to prospect properly.

Remember Never Leave Money on the Table!

Well, not physically, but you can say to a certain degree, emotionally. 

You see, there's a prospect that I have been connecting with for a few weeks now, seems high calibre, entrepreneurial and has some big goals. Definitely some of the key traits that I look for when I prospect. We exchanged a few messages, I thought I was building good rapport.. and then of course, I asked him if he was open at the moment to additional income streams… 

To which he politely said “thanks but no thanks”… maybe not in so many words but that was the main message.. 

For a moment I couldn’t believe it.. I thought it was going so well.. how can he reject something without even seeing it? Where did I go wrong? I entertained this train of though for a couple of minutes and then my training kicked in. 

You see, the reason I let it affect me it's because my EGO got bruised. Unfortunately this is what holds most of us back, is we fear that we may get rejected and because thats quite uncomfortable we don't put ourselves out there..

I remember a valuable lesson I learned once from one of the great teachers Jim Rohn which is to Discipline your Disappointment. Disappointment will come, and if you don't manage it then it can knock you out of the game and keep you in your average circle. 

The average circle, is our comfort zone - it's the skills we have to today that give us the quality of life we currently lead.  

But to have something we’ve never had then we have to do something we’ve never done before. The above experience back in the day would’ve frustrated me, maybe even angered me and perhaps I wouldn’t have continued making phones calls or messaging people for the rest of the day. 

However, due to the training I have experienced over the years I let it affect me for about 120 seconds. Then I got a bottle of water, sat back down on my laptop and kept on messaging and reaching out to more people. 

You see another big lesson we’ve learnt in business is to be patient with the results but impatient with the action! This allows us to detach ourselves from the emotion and the result but stay attached to action. 

I’ll give you an example:  let’s say you have a hot prospect John who's a successful business man taking a look at your opportunity. You need to be excited about him seeing the opportunity but emotionally detached to whether he buys. Also if he is the only one being your presentation that week and he gives you a no, you feel hurt and rejected. But if you have plenty of numbers you are showing then you don’t need to embark on an emotional roller coaster. 

Disappointment shows and it’s not attractive to your prospects.

Now with each disappointment we go through in life we look for the gift, sometimes it’s a blessing not getting what you want. Ask yourself: What’s the silver lining in this cloud? You may have to dig deep.

So we accept it’s part of life; you win some, you lose some, nobody closes every prospect sometimes you get let down but if life was always up you wouldn’t appreciate the good times as much. Also, the other thing we need to remember its all about timing!! Its never a no, its usually a "not yet" and if you keep the relationship you never know when that "seed" may be ready to sprout!

Also, when we feel disappointed we put ourselves in a victim mindset as if it’s something that is happening to us rather than for us. We start making a pity party for ourselves and inviting others to participate. What you focus on expands and if you start showing up in others' eyes as negative and a moaner naturally you won't be taken seriously. 

Of course you can feel disappointed but raise the bar of what you allow to disappoint you. You’ve got to have thick skin if you want to play at the highest level. If you’ve been disappointed in a behaviour you need to move on quickly don’t hold of to the pain.

Happiness is a choice and once you focus on protecting your mindset and managing your emotions then it becomes even easier to manage the emotional rollercoaster.

And finally remember, if this business was easy and effortless then the income associated wouldn't be so high. The more challenging it is, the bigger the rewards so just learn to enjoy the ride!! :-) 

I am truly dumbfounded. Even though I have been in the Network Marketing profession for 11 years and during that time I have had hundreds of thousands of people join my team and thousands of them give up, it still amazes me up to this day how quickly people give up on their dreams!! More so how they shy away from responsibility for their lack of success.

Let me introduce to … Bob.. At least that’s what we’ll call him to protect his identity. I met Bob at a hotel restaurant when I was waiting for my appointment to show up. He was a waiter and had great energy so I prospected him.  

We exchanged details, showed him the business opportunity and initially he didn’t join as he felt it was the wrong timing. But because I am a master at following up and building relationships, something that I will teach at some point in one of our podcasts, I just kept in touch with him and one time I called him and it was the right time so he joined the business.  

We did a game plan, set some goals and his vision was to replace his full-time income building this business part time in the next 2 to 3 years which was a very feasible goal based on the action plan that I created for him. 

I have created similar game plans for hundreds and possibly thousands of people over the years and when they are followed they are fool proof resulting in many people over the years replacing their full time income and some achieving much higher goals.  

Bob did the first 2.. He was not consistent with the plan in fact in about 18 months we probably showed maybe 10 to 12 people altogether which is the equivalent of a 10-14 day plan.   

He seemed to lack credibility with his contacts so a lot of people were not following him or taking him seriously. So we would do 2-3 meetings, no-one would join, then he would get disheartened, and disappear for 2-3 months and I wouldn’t hear from him. I would recommend for him to listen to some audios to work on his mind and his posture, the majority of the time he wouldn’t do it and then after a few months he would pop up out of nowhere ready to show someone.  

After a few months, and about 5 or 6 presentations into it, we finally enrolled a guy that managed to get off to a fast start and built a team of 6 in less than a week. Bob was VERY excited, but… this guy enrolled a guy, that read some negative blogs on Google, he quit and influenced the rest of the team and within a couple of days that small team disappeared. 

It’s amazing how some people can be influenced by some negative blogs on Google from people they have never met, that they don’t even know their agenda rather than see the facts. But unfortunately these things happen.. I understand this, seen this many times and understand that sometimes people are easily influenced by their peers, rather than be the influencers.  

However, Bob didn’t take it so well.. I actually thought this took him out of the game completely as he just disappeared and I didn’t hear from him for months. In fact I was surprised when out of the blue a few months later he messaged me as he was now in lockdown and couldn’t work as a waiter and was ready to kickstart his business again. 

During lockdown our business was booming like crazy because for the first time - many people were now at home, had more time as they saved time from commuting and wanted to make money online. I shared with him some of the recent stories we created during lockdown, he was very excited and said he would invite a few people to the zooms. 

Result: 24 hours later, we showed one person that was excited but had lost his job because of Covid - (also a waiter), so he needed to find the money to get started. Unfortunately that was the last presentation that Bob did and then disappeared again.. 

Until yesterday when he messaged me to say he decided that this business wasn’t for him as IT didn’t work for him.   

Now why am I telling you this extended story of Bob? Well quite simply, over the last few years.. I have met many Bobs.. 

  People that weren’t coachable and didn’t listen to audios or plug into the trainings

  People that didn’t have credibility but didn’t invest in themselves to become a better version of themselves and change that

  People that were disheartened at the first obstacle and gave up

  People that simply just didn’t put in the work or

  People that put in the work but simply not long enough 

It makes me sad to see people give up on their dreams, to not live to their true potential but as I learned over the years, you simply can’t work with everyone - you can only work with the deserving.. 

My main message to you is if your business is not working for you have a look at which of these things you’re not doing. Firstly, accept responsibility for where your business is right now. Ask yourself, do you have a clear vision? Do you have a plan, and are you working the plan enough to create success?    

We’ve all been told NO. In fact if we are doing our jobs right as sales people and as network marketers we should be getting told no every day (amongst yes of course) if you’re putting in the work and putting in the numbers.

But just because we hear it every day doesn’t make it easier.

I can remember one of my worst days. Right in the beginning of my career I was broke. Now when I say broke, I mean BROKE. I would struggle to afford to buy myself a drink, let alone a prospect a drink at a meeting. I was working really hard to change that around.

In fact it’s embarrassing for me just to tell the story. I was sharing a pineapple juice with my friend at a meeting just to show the cafe we were at that we had ordered something to keep the table while we were doing our meeting.

And so was we got to the end of the presentation and I asked my closing question the prospect looked at me and said: “Of course I’m not gonna join! You’re so broke you can’t even afford your own drink!”

Now that really hurt but the thing is my prospect didn’t see this was the very reason I was doing network marketing so I would never have to be in that situation again.

However, it was early days and I was maybe too proud to admit to her face that what she said was true. I wasn’t confident enough to share this pain I was in was the reason why I wanted to do a concept like this. I did not have the training or personal development yet to go respond like that.

I did however want to turn the pain into power, I wanted to let it drive me, to turn me on for success. I was so uncomfortable feeling that pain that I felt like a bullet pierced my heart and I never wanted to be there again.

In fact the more I thought about her reaction the more mad it made me! Here I was trying to do something with my life, to change my situation and she was throwing it in my face.

I was at the point where I just wanted to become so successful I can throw it back in her face. I even had visuals of being wealthy enough to buy a warehouse of pineapple juice and get it delivered to her house! :-) 

I wanted to prove that girl that hurt my feelings wrong!

Some people would have let a painful experience like that drive them out of the game. Let these challenging experiences drive you to get better, stronger! There are two ways people feel motivated: when the pain hurts enough or when the promise of pleasure is dangled.

The pain of social embarrassment, drove me to work harder. Do you know you have a choice about how you react to rejection?

Something that I find helped me a lot, was always listening to an audio when I would feel down. Listening to someone that has already been through the journey makes you realise that its just part of the game - and if they can do it - you can do it too. In fact, I would almost feel like I just put on my armour after I would listen to an audio and I was ready to go back into battle.  

In fact, if you wish to take it a step further, we have set up a course just for you that’s not only going to teach you the skills to get through the numbers but it’s also going to teach you how to handle the rejection, how to develop a winning mindset and how to coach your team through an experience like mine.

But here’s the thing, by having your phone next to your bed when you go to sleep you are actually taking thousands of your contacts, of your network to bed with you every night.

As Network marketers and business owners we find it so hard to leave our devices alone. We have that constant need to to have our business at our fingertips and an addiction to being available.

Our phone is constantly with us at meal times, on dates and especially when we go to sleep at night. We use it if we wake up in the middle of the night, we check our messages, right before we go to bed and as soon as we wake up in the morning.

We are sleeping with thousands of people, an entire network every night; you’re never alone... never completely alone.

So how does this impact you and why is this relevant you may be asking especially when you have an online business where you need to be connected ?

Do you think it might be possible that you’re giving yourself more importance in your business than necessary with your online presence?

What would happen if you didn’t answer the phone?

Do you need to be accessible or are you addicted ?

Recently I realised I was an addict of the screen time substance. I was using social media all the time and I had convinced myself that being constantly connected was for the benefit of my business. I hadn’t realised until I started tracking how much I was living through my phone rather than experiencing real life.

Social media has been something that I wanted to take control of for a while but when you have an addiction it’s hard to stop, luckily I was able to do some research and read a book called “ The Essential Digital Detox “ and I also watched the new “Social Dilemma" film on Netflix. (not for the fainthearted)

I also wrote a whole page of goals that I want to do to achieve with regards to the amount of time and the deliberation that I give on social media.

In fact I was experiencing moments more for my online network than for myself so the other night I did an experiment. I left my phone at home and went for a walk through the village. As I got to the top of the hill I saw a beautiful sight before me: the moon was full and beaming down on the sea lighting up the houses that were on the hill. I took a mental picture for myself one that I will never forget. 

It was stunning and no photo was going to give that scene justice so I enjoyed having a moment to myself. My senses came alive, the wind was beautiful on my skin, my eyes blessed by the moon’s beauty I could smell the sea air and hear the cats meowing and felt alive. When I got home the world had not fallen apart due to my absence.

I came to the conclusion that not every moment needs to be shared, I’ll save a few for myself and I do not need to be constantly online or reachable.

A lot of reps fall into the scrolling trap just like me, this was certainly not building my business. Connecting was yes, having actual conversations through DMs and messenger yes, that’s building the business. But scrolling nope - I immediately set a time warning on scrolling apps.

Now when I pick up my phone I now ask myself how is this going to benefit my business if I use this right now ? I became conscious of my bad phone habits.

There are ways to check how much time you spend on social media but my advice to you is let’s use it for your business and to your advantage.

I have a daily method of operation that I use with regards to social media. I make sure that I do a couple of posts on each platform for the day, I comment on a couple of people’s content and dm new prospects.

Now of course with the instant messaging and call apps there’s gonna be times when you need to be on it for hours for your business calls.

But shouldn’t you have private family time ? Shouldn’t you be faithful to your partner by sleeping with them rather than sleeping with thousands of other people while they’re in bed next to you?

I swear Ikea must have shares in divorce lawyers because the number of times I've seen couples have massive arguments over how to assemble an item is crazy.

After several not so great experiences with my old housemate, I've finally concluded: no more flat-pack furniture. We both come into it with two completely different mindsets.

My housemate completely optimistic liked to launch straight into it without a thought for the manual or instructions.

"How hard can it be!" she exclaims, as she starts with what she assumes would be the beginning.

I, however, like to slow down and read the instruction manual carefully first, identify whether we do actually have all the parts, nails and tools and then begin at step one.

What we usually find is that if we use my housemates way we will get off to a fast start but at some point, we've attached a door backwards or got the handles back to front. It's an amateur job at best. She is brilliant at a lot of things but Flat pack furniture isn't one of them. 

She always wants to take short cuts and save time, however, in the long run, it's one of two scenarios, retracing the steps to see if we can find the error or most times having to start at the beginning again or like back in November 2012, we end up giving up. The entertainment unit never had the doors attached - you heard, it got too hard so we QUIT!

Now my way... Yes reading the manual is slow at the start. It takes a little longer to get things flowing. But the organisation and a clear understanding of instructions always result in a beautiful finished product. I no longer participate in flat-pack furniture ventures with that housemate. However, I do have a highly analytical friend on speed dial as she is the best person to work with to get the desired finished flat-pack result.

This truly reminds me of the way some people approach their network marketing business. They are excited about their new venture so they launch into it blindly, they don't bother to watch any of the introduction how-to videos, or listen to the recommended audios... they just go for it. The main reason is they want fast results and doing those important things could take up much of their precious time.

Now, this approach could work but those who use this approach need a very thick skin as they are going to get quite a few knockbacks and have quite a few sales, that could have been closed, slip through their fingers due to a lack of skill. Additionally, it could also cost them a lot more time as they will have to unlearn bad habits. 

They are unaware that perhaps their sponsor/upline knows what they are doing or not and have no filter on the wrong or the right person to bring into their business. Then usually after a while, their frustration takes them out of the game... if only they would have slowed down for a minute to read the MLM manual, listen to an audio or speak to a veteran in the field they could have saved their career.